Monday, July 19, 2010

I know an Angel

I saw her only briefly,but it was enough to make me lover her.  Enough to make me scream, hate, want to kill, cry in a way I have never cried.  Experience a sadness that traps you and even though a year has passed you still find you haven't escaped it. And I know I never will.

This time last year I received a call, never a good sign at 2:30am.  But never in a million years did I expect the news I got. 

I think I know what she would have looked like if she were alive today, I can almost see her face.  She has a permanent smile and of course has a head too large in proportion to the rest of her body just like all the babies born in my family, wavy dark hair and fat fat cheeks. But when I dig deeper to see the color of her eyes, I don't see anything.  When my niece died she still had newborn eyes, I never got to see if they were going to be blue like her mother's.  I imagine if she did have blue eyes she would have grown up to look exactly like Scarlett O'Hara.

Evangeline Grace, you are in my thoughts today as you are everyday.

                                             Evangeline Grace 4.18.2009~7.19.2009
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